Emails and how to reply...

nah it was just a nice trick to see if you'd ever called me a cunt or not.
i guess i was insecure and wanted to know...even though i don't really leave my house so it doesn't effect me even remotely.

"just because i'm wet enough to tell you that i miss you..."

that was gross.

actually i don't really care what you do. you can send emails, you can fart a rocket out of your ass. not that i'm indifferent. i just...well it's been too long and i don't care. so i guess i AM indifferent.

i have this bi-polar disorder. which means that i alternate between happy and sad. at the moment i'm happy so i become confident and generally indifferent. when i get sad again, i'll curse you and ask you to piss off. because of this reason i don't meet or talk to people. it's not like i'm sad that i don't have friends. i just relive good memories in my head. which may sound pathetic but it's a lifestyle when you're paranoid about people and their peopley ways. i honestly don't care about you right now. don't be cross because i said so. it's just true. people like me can't even care for their ailing parents. we have our own interests at heart. which is why we distrust everyone else...because we fear facing qualities which we ourselves personify. like greed. hypocrisy. lust. itchy gums. i actually had to go to dictionary.com to see how to spell hypocrisy. that's how big a poser i am.

so. in conclusion. fascinating as it is that you miss me. why can't i be left alone? i don't like people...i am afraid of them. they bring out the worst in me. i would love to be a good person. i only go to school and then come back home. and then go to school tomorrow. sometimes i watch porn. that is my social life. i am not someone you would find interesting in the least. i was looking at myself just now and i noticed how sickly yellow looking i have become. so...in this nice manner...i have explained to you why you shouldn't miss me. i could call you names to get you to leave me alone too. i don't miss anybody. i don't want to miss anybody. i don't like to miss anybody. and when i do...i watch porn. no that may be untrue. however...so...i hope you will leave me alone. yes you have done very well these three years or so. i don't hate you. i hardly remember anything because i was drugged at the time. i wish you well. i really do...because the money you make, the children you mess up, the suicide you commit, i will never get to know of it...because i live so far away...so far away...so far away...(zeppelin_ocean?)

leave me alone. it is not my job to entertain you when you're bored of your regular friends. ok? do be good. do.

yours not all-ely,
muk

p.s. see how cruel and insensitive i am? i also have a virulent rectum and an extremely tiny penis that resembles a pimple. i like to believe that no other boy would go to the extent of belittling his own penis for the sake of seclusion and peace...this is how sincere i am to the cause of isolation. people are horrible cunts. i hate people. or perhaps i love them and so for their own betterment...nay...for the greater good...i must avoid them. i wish you could understand what it's like to be manic. you can't stop talking, telling lies, making stuff up, just because you can't stop. but there's no point. i've tried. people think it's a joke. i like to be alone. alone is good. ok? do you understand? you should be talking to artsy people who draw and paint and f*ck all the time and then smoke and talk about various unimportant things...like paintings and drawings and art and f*cking all the time and smoking and then dream about that stuff too. or death...isn't that a popular topic among your people? death. death and its mysterious nature. and dressing up in hoods, looking like black condoms...isn't that what you do? it's a rhetorical question...i don't really want to know. i decided somewhere along the line that i don't want to know a lot of things. i'm quite satified if i pass every year and go on to the next one...academically speaking. life is too personal a matter to be shared with strangers who assume so much about you. i hope your friends will make it so that you don't miss me...or at least, once they read this, they'll inform you that i'm ignorant and obviously a masogynist and probably impotent. maybe they"re right...maybe too much drug use has made my willy wilt. winkie.

ok then enough said.
hope i satisfied your curiosity. you may write once every year if you're still curious and i'll just give you a brief overview of how my life is progressing so that you can be secure in the dellusion that your life is better than mine. ok? ok? i don't hate you per say...however, knowing you was costly. and i guess i'm cheap when it comes to the humans i collect.

noighty naughty night.
perplexatron: adult.

if you want music or something...if that's what you want...
listen to roundabout by yes!
black swan by thom yorke
i talk to the wind by king crimson (or the entire first album)
the mind that knows itself by sufjan stevens (if that's the name of the song)
and just for the heck of it..."can't keep" by pearl jam.

see...i have given you music...i can't really hate you...i just just just wish to be left alone...ok? read wuthering heights or something...it'll depress you enough to kill yourself...or something...

well...i GAS tha's bout tit? no?
ok

read the great gatsby by fitzgerald.
don't read gabriel garcia, he's a whore bastard.
read shakespeare.
eat nuts.
watch jungle porn
eat corpses.
drink blood.
sit on nails
crap
crap
crap
crockacola
don't buy stuff from denmark.
change your number
search for God.
marry someone...God knows you're old enough...just marry someone...everyone's getting married...go marry and be merry...MARRY SOMEONE...doesn't your mother tell you to marry someone????
go find yourself a drunkard. fix him up. marry him. have his babies. eat them. sell them on ebay. have a happy new year. read fast. die young.
delete everything i ever sent you.
EVERYTHING.
delete it all...i mean if you haven't.

delete it.
delete it all.
delete this too.
i don't like to think that people have my words in their posession. it's dis...comforting...or whatsit.

JUST DELETE EVERYTHING.

\m/ u k