Over the Pills and Far Away

Insomaniac

Are you up?
I will you awake,
To open your eyes, respond, reply,
For you must
And so I will you awake
Now…now…now

‘You will not wake up’
- I stare at these words
And I swear
They resemble the essence of ‘Tulip’-
‘You will not wake up’ and ‘Tulip’
Are the same.

Do you see?
Do you see how they’re the same?
When I saw, I felt
Something rise in my chest
A feeling perhaps, nostalgic
That you will not wake up

I wonder is a Leviathan
Harsh is a Religion
Cold is someone taking a picture
In the winter,
And I am you is a Mountain Range
And a mountain is a horse
But Tulip…
You will not wake up

Sunrise, Windows and Earth
There is beauty in these words
Earth and Queen, Fire of the East,
Desire of Disease
I wish for impossible vocabularies

There are certain sounds
When whispered into ears
Have a peculiar effect:
A blush will spread.
It’s in the words, in their truth:
A soul that only seldom moves
And is seldom moved
Something very strange and unknowable
About whispers in ears:
Frighteningly powerful, mad to the taste,
But savoury, fulfilling; the sound,
Cannot be isolated, it cannot be found

I have never whispered in anyone’s ears
Except once in almost complete darkness
To a girl I said, ‘There are cockroaches
In this room, and in my bed.’
But I was very young back then.

Tulip. I may in fact just be
The most vainglorious of louts
That I have ever met
And anyone would end me, out of pity
For my inevitable loneliness;
There’s nobody like me
Except you
I keep on saying to myself

And there is a strange pride
That I don’t pretend to hide
But the fact of the matter is
I still can’t decide
And that is all there is to it
That is all there is to us.
That is all there is.
But you will not wake up.